The Sauce Of All Evil

The new Tesco Metro on the Essex Road is ‘shit’, proclaims a random woman on the bus.

Thanks for the tip, I think.

Then I think: how can an outlet that doesn’t pretend to be anything other than a glorified convenience store reasonably be described as shit?

Shit in what sense, exactly? Shit in the sense they don’t sell remote-controlled gunboats or Bengal tigers? Shit in the sense they hide green mambas in the leeks and stock gangrenous human flesh in the frozen-food section?

Of course not – that would be ridiculous.

Apparently, ‘It’s shit because of the fucking sauce.’

4 Responses to The Sauce Of All Evil

  1. Hannah says:

    That elicits more questions than it answers…

  2. Mangonel says:

    Tesco is shit? Ooh, hold the front page!

  3. rivergirlie says:

    they must have the best pr in the whole wide world. recently they were getting kudos in the sundays because they’re putting prices UP. this apparently shows a responsible attitude towards food standards. and their profits are how much?

  4. weenie says:

    I’m sure if the store’s supplies ran out, she’d complain it was shit because there was no fucking sauce..

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