Morgan Spurlock was onto something with Supersize Me, as I discover on ordering my morning coffee . . .
‘Would Sir like any pastries, muffins or cakes with that?’
‘Actually, Sir would. One of those gigantic Pretzels in fact. Then I’d have an object to stuff in your gob so you can’t try and foist more of your overpriced crap on me, when all I want is a fucking coffee, which should be perfectly obvious to you, since that’s what I ordered.’
Except, of course, I don’t say that – but this: ‘Ooh, go on then, give us a cinnamon Danish.’