In his seminal self-help guide, The Prince, Niccolo Machiavelli makes the following observation about venality. ‘Benefits should be conferred gradually,’ he writes. ‘In that way, they taste better.’
I only mention this because there’s a new chap in the office, whose job it is to open mail. In an effort to curry favour, he’s taken to leaving cakes, sausage rolls and biscuits in the kitchen, alongside a cheesy note inviting co-workers to help themselves. Naturally, everyone thinks he’s a sycophantic tosser. And not without reason, I muse, devouring my eighth Custard Cream.
Damn do they taste better than I remember.