The Sauce Of All Evil

October 2, 2007

The new Tesco Metro on the Essex Road is ‘shit’, proclaims a random woman on the bus.

Thanks for the tip, I think.

Then I think: how can an outlet that doesn’t pretend to be anything other than a glorified convenience store reasonably be described as shit?

Shit in what sense, exactly? Shit in the sense they don’t sell remote-controlled gunboats or Bengal tigers? Shit in the sense they hide green mambas in the leeks and stock gangrenous human flesh in the frozen-food section?

Of course not – that would be ridiculous.

Apparently, ‘It’s shit because of the fucking sauce.’